Scared to come out of the closet?

Are you gay and too much of a fucking wimp to be open about it? Then, get lost. I can't help you if you actually think what others think of you is relevent. Seriously, though, even if someone is enough of a dullard to care whether you're gay or not, they'd probably be more pissed off if you lied about it. Actually, I don't really give a fuck what you people do, as long as you don't make the mistake of asking me about it.


Dear Peeves,
I think I like boys more than girls, but I'm afraid of people making fun of me if I express how I really feel.
What should I do?

--Pirates Are 1337

Gay Pirate--

You could live your whole life in fear of what other idiots think of you and become completely fake and superficial to please them, or, and this might be a better idea, you could grow the fuck up a little and realize that 1. What people think about you doesn't count for shit, and 2. No one cares about a loser such as yourself enough to make fun of you. Now, get lost.

--Peeves

Dear Peeves,

why ae you such a bitch

--Mike LongLastName

Mike--

Good question, Mike. People like you send me such dumb shit that it almost forces me to be bitchy to them. Maybe if you went and took a hike off of a cliff, that would solve my problem of being surrounded by idiocy, and I wouldn't be such a "bitch", as you put it.

--Peeves

Dear Peeves,

Did I strike a chord?? lol

--Silently Morbid

Silently Morbid--

What the hell are you even talking about? My rules for asking me questions aren't very strict, if you'll look to the far left side of this goddamn page to see that, yet you assholes never seem to be able to follow them!

I think you'd all be more keen on following them if whoever didn't got to meet my steel-toed boots. YES! That's it! That's my policy from now on: If you can't follow my simple guidelines, you get kicked with my steel-toed boots.

--Peeves

Murder Advice

Want some advice on killing? Sure. I love giving it, but not when you're an incompetent loser who gives me a limited amount to work with.


Dear Peeves,

I'm having trouble deciding whether I should kill Tyler or Kevosk. I can't kill both of them because I'll never be able to kill again. Now Kevosk is the biggest fucking gay-tarded dick-cunt-ass-bag I've ever met, yet my faraway friend absolutely despises Tyler. Please help me decide which to kill!

--Murderous Silly Negro

Dipshit--

Since you're too incompetent to follow my moto: "When in doubt, kill both", kill who you hate the most, which would be this Kevosk. Have your friend kill Tyler him/herself, and you worry about who pisses you off instead of getting more involved with others' lives than your own (not that you have much of one). I hope you get caught and rot in a prison cell for the rest of your life, dipshit.